Profile for jimjam (2902)

JimJam was born on a warm sunny day. Which was strange because he was born in Alaska.

He was immediately taken in for a series of tests after it was found that he had an abnormally large penis. Preliminary indications pointed to a third leg. At the hospital he was referred to as tripod.

His birthparents, being nomadic seal clubbers, gave him up for adoption. He was raised by a black family, so that he could fit in better with his enormous penis.

As he was growing up he learned various skills such as: How to be a ninja, how to hotwire a car, how to crack open a safe, how to drive a car at over 200 mph., how to survive in both the jungle and desert, how to cook a 30-course meal, french, spanish, italian, swedish, arabic, hindu, hebrew, and latin.

Aspiring to be an artist, he left for spain. Spending the greater part of his life before 20 doing oil paintings of mostly nude models. He would then proceed to have sex with all of them. He lost his virginity at the age of 9 and by the time he was 18, he had sexed over 4000 women. He loved them all, and remembered them all by name.

Later he found out that the world needed him as a superhero and not an artist. So on his 21st birthday, he set down his paintbrush forever. Moving back to his crime ridden homeland of Alaska he had his work cut out for him.

For the next 4 years he fought every criminal and forced them into Canada. Canada's crime rate went up by eleventy-billion in those four years.

Seeing that his homeland was now at peace, he took off his ninja costume and started working for the CIA. Perfect for blackops, the CIA set him up with a front job of being an air traffic controller for the Air Force.

Occassionally to keep appearances up he'd stop by and direct some planes. However, since he'd never actually received any training on air traffic control, he actually caused a number of crashes. Since they were all experimental alien aircraft no one ever found out.

Becoming an American James Bond was an easy transition. He began toppling governments, and influencing pop music. After the boy bands began to break up, so did his confidence in the music industry. Thankfully teenagers have no attention span what-so-ever, so he began to place teenage whores in the spotlight and everyone has loved Miley Cyrus ever since.

In his day to day routine, he have sex on average, 32 times. Generally it is between 3 to 5 women. Sometimes when time is tight, he'll double them up.

All women are required to sign a love contract. Despite it's name this document prohibits any of his bitches from actually falling in love with him. Though he himself loves them all. This rule is fairly lax, but there are parts of the contract which do not allow any deviations. One such constraint is the ever popular sex schedule.

The sex schedule lists the times in which the women are to make themselves available for sex. Though unwritten, all women should constantly be ready for sex from him. Also, this stipulation requires that all women may only have sex with him at certain times. Women are given 4 floating hollidays in which they can have spontaneous (2 weeks written permission) sex with him.

Every woman who's ever sexed him, 92,245 (as of August 2008), has never had a more enjoyable sexual experience in their entire lives. All women judge other men on what is known as the JimJam Scale.

The JimJam Scale is a measurement of a mans sexing ability. No one can ever score 100%, as no man can sex women like him. To date the highest score given was a 84% which was achieved by Ron Jeremy (or as JimJam calls him "tinycock").

JimJam has sucessfully sexed 65% of the Alaskan Female population. Apparently 35% of Alaskan women are ugly.

JimJam is like Chuck Norris (or as he calls him "The Big Pussy"

Biographer: superdug