Profile for strayling (20)

"Brilliant theologian with a powerful vocabulary, as proven by his surprise use of the term "hagiography" to describe the act of writing this biography for him." Biograher: vin diesel


I, Swami-on-Rye , first met Strayling at Colonel Whisby’s plantation purely by chance. He’d arrived by coach for recompense for Siddhartha’s damage to his drapes. Strayling was one of those who threw lavish parties and at one such soiree someone had given the Colonel’s pet monkey, Siddhartha, a shot of Absinthe. The simian subsequently soiled strayling ’s lavish drapes -- imported from Italy and woven by the hands of an incarcerated beggar, a thief, and an unlicensed phrenologist -- and remuneration was in order.

Strayling had potent Laudanum and no destination that night, so we got started in earnest. Strayling is an interesting fellow, conversationally adept, with tophat askew, and periodically adjusting an enormous codpiece of polished steel with an unparalleled gold detailing.

Looking back fondly I believe Strayling taught many of us at the brothel that night several valuable lessons about life and friendship, or maybe not. Strayling had told us that the matter stream was everything and nothing -- two things that seemed to cancel one another out, like chili made with habaneros and Tagamet tablets swallowed with Immodium AD.

Legend may dictate that the wearer of Strayling ’s undergarments may see into the future. The man could have been a long-forgotten brother, or an uncle you're wary of at family Bar-B-Ques, or the sound mixer for the Allman Brothers, or the bassist for that really cool band you saw at the state fair that did great covers of "Kid Charlemaign" and "Dixie Chicken," or the hippie extra playing pool in that movie you saw with your girlfriend in 1988 that starred Michael Biehn (Duane Hicks in Aliens) and Charlton Heston (Ten Commandments, Bud Light) that had that oddball subplot where Rhoda, played by Emma Thompson, studies electricity despite the objections of her wealthy family. Strayling is one of those types of guys. One who you'd find filling your prescription behind the counter (and slyly swiping a pill or two for himself, scooting pharmaceuticals into the breast pocket of his white pharmacist's smock) or maybe even one you'd see dressed in tattered clothes, pacing the pavement in the supermarket parking lot, shouting "The secret tapes are in Baltimore! The secret tapes are in Baltimore!"



Biographer: swami-on-rye